Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Oncologist explained that cancer is made up of cells that have found a way to cheat death. Usually our cells grow, they multiply, then the old ones die. When they cheat death they all grow: current cells, posteriorly grown, etc. Pretty soon everything gets crowded and a cancer cell decides to "move out" by going down the blood stream. The Lymphatic system is the body's filter system for disease. However cancer cells -- not playing by the rules -- decide they're gonna use the closest Lymph Node as a new home and start multiplying there. When this happens it's most generally Stage 2 cancer because it's not localized to the point of origin anymore.

Although, staging cancer is not that simple. There are 3 types of tells that Oncologists look to, and those are: Tumor, Nodes and Metastasis. Then if the cancer is Seminoma or Non-Seminoma. I have Non-Seminoma.

In my blood test they explained that most of my tumor markers were pretty normal except one which was the one that i mentioned earlier that is 2222 instead of the normal <.07 mark. They also found out my Calcium was low, I guess i should drink more milk, ey?

They examined my stomach CT Scan and they found a small Node on the bottom of my lung area. So tomorrow i am getting another CT Scan to determine if the cancer has spread to my chest at all. As it is right now the staging is not complete, so when the Doctor told me that I had Stage 3 cancer yesterday it was pretty much a best guess. The oncologist said, "all the facts aren't in, but i would say you have stage 2." which means roughly 3 chemo treatments. Each Chemo treatment would go on (I think) everyday for a month, stopping short of the last week of that month to give me a break. It is either that or it's a week on and a week off, she wasn't really clear about it. Then as soon as I start feeling better, after being off it for a week, it'll start all over again. That is considered one treatment. So this will roughly go on for 3 months if i am receiving it well. If not they'll give me another treatment.

One of the other things that is up in the air is a Retroperitoneal Lymph Node Dissection (RPLND). This is a lot of big words meaning my Lymph Nodes are swollen in my abdomen, and they don't know why, so they're gonna remove my abdominal Lymph Nodes to find out more information about the cancer. This is a procedure they'll put me under for and at the same time I'm under they'll put my port in. The reason they're up in the air about it is because the Oncologist i went to today wants to do it before chemo, but she said to see what the doctor at UCH says. This leads me to believe that it must not be a sure thing.

All I know is I am just barely able to stand up on my own without pain, sneeze, cough and feel normal without pain in my incision. Then they're gonna give me two more incisions in my abdomen! Hah, oh well, it's for a good reason. She told me that i'll need to let myself feel lazy in these upcoming months. So i guess i'll have to give into the idea.

Before I left I had blood drawn so they could check my tumor markers and other things Post-Op. I have a CT Scan tomorrow; UCH monday; something Wednesday and a follow-up in 3 weeks. Having cancer sure requires a lot of time, I don't know how those people do it who work while going through Chemo!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

After spending 5 1/2 hours on the phone calling Hospitals and Doctors, I have established a tentative appointment for University of Colorado Hospital on Monday. This works out great for me, because it falls within the whole "urgency" thing.

Also, my records are getting sent over to UCH to create a file, in which to present to [someone] in order to approve me, since this facility is in demand. This whole process is being expedited on every side, so I'm not worried.

This Hospital is one of 39 in the Nation and the only comprehensive cancer institute in the Rocky Mountain region. So it's a really great opportunity -- a huge blessing.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I visited my Urologist today. Before we went in they took us aside to the billing office. They presented us with an $1,100 bill for Dr. Brutcher's services as a surgeon. My Mother-in-Law brought up a good point that the Anesthesiologists bill should be coming shortly after that. How fun! (yeah, right.) I'll tell you, I'm not looking forward to seeing those numbers on a bill. The Oncologist that I am going to tomorrow is self-pay, so that bill will be coming too. We have some agencies and things that we have in reserve that we'll bring out to help pay those bills, but every little bit will still help keep us out of debt because of these medical bills.

I try not to let myself get wrapped up in the financial aspect of the treatment, but instead on just trying to get better. That's the most important thing medically to me right now, then second would be being able to have children later in life.

He said everything was looking good. I asked him to refer me to the Anschutz Medical Campus, but neither of us knew how to do that. They tried calling, but were unable to get a real person. So they gave me the number to call. He told me I could take the clear plastic covering off the incision today. He almost said it like he was surprised it hadn't already fallen off or that I hadn't already taken it off.

I asked a few questions about my condition. I asked what stage cancer they found, first of all. He said it was Stage 3 Testicular Cancer. It is stage 3 because my tumor markers are so high. There is a test they ran on my blood where i was supposed to be <.07 and I was at 2,222.

They found 3 different abnormalities on my removed testicle: Embryonal, Yolk Sac and Teratoma. The biggest composition was the Embryonal at 85%. The other two were relatively small.

Because the cancer didn't penetrate to the Tuncia Albuginea, that means i am in relatively good shape.

So for me that basically means i have 3 different kinds of abnormalities, like the Urologist said.

After the Urology appointment I called The University of Colorado Hospital (UCH) to see if i could be admitted there as a patient in their Oncology section. I got transferred a lot and left a message for a woman named Karen who does the scheduling. UCH is in the Anschutz Medical Campus. Karen called me back at 11:50a and left a message saying that she's having an Oncologists Assistant looking into times when i can come in for a consultation. They are thinking in the next few days which will be just perfect! She mentioned that she would be in a meeting from 12p until 1p and would check her messages promptly after that. I called her back when i got the message, at noon. Now i am waiting on her call.

The CICP (Colorado Indigent Care Program) that I am signed up for is used at UCH. Also Chemotherapy is covered, that right there will save a pretty penny. We are so blessed to have all these facilities and programs available to us. The support we're getting from family and friends is pretty outstanding, i am saving every email i get from paypal saying i got a donation so i can send Thank You cards.

After the Urologist told me that I had stage 3 cancer, he saw my "Live Strong" bracelet and told me "you know Lance Armstrong had stage 4 cancer, right?" I was also told that he had kids 2 years after his treatments, without using in vitro fertilization. So i am pretty optimistic!

When Karen calls back and I get something set up, i'll post another update, but that's all for now!

The picture is from a website (http://radiology.rsna.org/content/227/1/18/F1.large.jpg), it's an anatomical picture with no real relevance to my pathology report except for the labeled terms.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I have been thinking a lot about all the help I have been getting. Everyone has been so supportive and helpful. There are a few people that I want to publicly embarrass by thanking them for their relentless efforts, in no particular order:

Jen my sister - She has been amazing. She lives 1600 miles away, but is coming up with ideas about fundraisers, donating money herself and just plain being supportive. A few days ago, she had two Orchid highlights dyed into her hair to support me. If there is one thing I have learned in 24 years it’s to never mess with a woman and her hair! So for her to do that unprovoked by me asking is simply a profound show of support. She has also had her nails done purple, and her friend made her a purple flower to put in her hair.

She has also been creating awareness for other cancers in the Orlando area by making bracelets. She bought the immediate family Testicular cancer bracelets and is sending them to us, as well. I really don't think there is any end to what her and her husband John can do. John has been sending me encouraging text messages, voice mails and posting my website on Facebook, the Social Networking site.

Their family is a huge blessing in my life and I am very grateful for people like my sister and her family. I believe that they are the essence of what humanity is all about; what it means to be human and care for other people, rather than ourselves.

Amanda my other sister - has also been very generous. A while ago she ran a 5k race and dedicated it to me. She and her boyfriend have also donated to my cause. Amanda is 3,000 miles away, but continues to raise awareness in Anchorage, Alaska. She shares pictures at her outpatient office where she works and has spread the word to her friends and other family.

She and Jen have been a great support throughout all of this, putting their lives on hold at the moment I call them, or just need to talk. During this whole ordeal she has had a positive attitude and has provided me with hours of entertainment: telling jokes, keeping a positive spin on things, providing medical suggestions and so on. In her own way she has been my emotional support, while Jen has shown a lot of physical support -- balancing each other out.

The Waite family of Loveland - sweetly donating a sum of money to my cause. I am extremely grateful for people like these in my life who I don’t even know, but understand the concept of compassion. Without families like them, I wouldn't have much hope for medical bills. Thank you so much for blessing my life!

Brenn Hill, of course - The generosity of him to a complete stranger is just so touching. His son’s story is so inspiring; it gives me hope as well. The offer he made of organizing a benefit concert for me is not only awe-inspiring but also incredibly charitable. It is a great blessing when an artist uses their God-given talents to bless the lives of people who are struggling. Even if you don't believe in God you have to admit, it really puts to good use what it means to be human! The ability to feel for another person and want to change their situation with whatever influences you can. I think we need more people like that in the world: more people that try.

The other artists that put on the concert also deserve a tip of the hat. It's incredibly kind of you to donate your time and talents like that.

Words can't express how grateful I am for his decision. It takes humongous weight off of my shoulders. Though the irony is that I haven't been much of a country music listener, Brenn has definitely made me a fan through his music and his kindness. So visit his website and show your support for a just good, all around person, who happens to have a talent for music as well. http://www.brennhill.com/

And my Mom, Kathy - Who is been a constant support ever since she found out. Always asking me if there is anything that I need and helping anyway that she can. She even has helped with money, and that just wasn't when I was sick. She is an extremely generous person, one who I am proud to call my Mom.

She has a lot of connections in town and makes sure she talks about my situation. Her thought is that you never know who might want to help. I very much have and will continue to appreciate the support she gives for me. She is very skilled at compassion, though you would think raising three boys would have affected that or snuffed it out somehow; she has still maintained her charitable attitude!

My wife, Rhiannon - Who has been a beacon of strength through this whole thing. She is my pillar - a great example. She has been extremely caring and understanding about everything. She is also looking forward in hope, despite everything that has happened. She has wanted to breakdown and cry a few times, but has stopped herself. She is trying so hard to be strong and I appreciate that about her. She is a wonderful woman.

My Parents-in-Law (Thayne and Marie) - have been a strong driving force behind me ever since they found out as well. Thayne has a lot of friends and has made sure that he lets them know of my circumstance. Marie got me a Live Strong bracelet to remind me to not stop having hope. They have been creating awareness through their friends, who tell their friends and so forth. It has been a real blessing to have them behind me. They are wonderfully considerate people.

It runs in the family, too. Chad, my Brother-in-law has donated money to my cause. And him and his wife Lisa have supported me through this difficult, but hopeful time. Chad feels more like a blood-brother than a brother-in-law.

My close friend Dibe - Dibe came to the hospital to see me - an hour out of her way - the day of the surgery. She stayed the whole time! She is an EMT so she is brutally busy. She is a great advice giver and a trusted friend. Someone whom I can count on without doubt, ever. Dibe loves to help people out. I think that is what makes her an example to everyone; I think that is what makes her special.

She's been a role model of how I should be for a long time now. She sees opportunity to help in the most obscure situations. She is loved dearly by Rhiannon and I. We are appreciative for everything that Dibe has done for us through this process. She is a true friend.

I doubt I could say anything nice enough to adequately dote on her for how much a support she has been. We are lucky to have a friend like Dibe who cares like she is a blood-relative.

My good family friend, Christie - Christie is a cancer survivor and the mother of my Best Friend Clancey. She is very tough. I love her dearly like a second Mom. Throughout this whole thing her kind, unimposing attitude about things has been a great support to have and very informational. She's a great person. I am really blessed to know her.

My good friend Vivian from Chile - Vivian is a very funny woman. My friend Jessica met Vivian while she was serving an 18-month mission in the Santiago area for our church. She introduced us through Facebook and we have been in touch ever since. We have grown to think of each other like siblings. She has been a huge support throughout all of my Doctor's appointments. Her humor about her country and about life in general contributes to keeping my spirits up.

She has been sending me emails asking for updates on my condition. She thinks about my circumstance a lot too. She's a very good friend.

Long-time friends Pam and Jane - have supported me through this whole thing as well. They are not in a position where helping financially is possible, but they have offered so much more than money could give. Pam considers me one of her children because of how long I have known them. I would consider her another mom and her husband Craig another Dad because of how long I have known them.

Their charity, patience and love for me over the years has not wavered. Jane texts me often wondering how I am doing and how I am feeling. This whole circumstance hasn't sat well with her, but she's a good friend, and keeps at it even though i may not respond right a way.

Pam just recently got a job so she isnt able to talk to me as much as she would like to, but they're doing anything in their realm of influence to help me. Being huge country fans they're thinking of people who they can bring to the benefit, which is a HUGE help! They have tenacity and perseverance, which makes me glad they're on my side! Rhiannon and I really love their family and Christie's family.

Ryan from Sacramento - Is another great friend of mine who has been more than supportive. Him and his wife Vanessa have done what they can to spread the word and share my website with other people. They have a lot of friends because they are very likable people. I am lucky to know them and be so close to them. Throughout the years Ryan has identified with me and my sense of humor. We make each other laugh a lot, so during a time like this I especially appreciate his thoughts and support. He is a really great friend. He is lively, considerate and has a service-oriented attitude, which makes handling difficult news a breeze. I am very blessed to have him in my life.

In fact, I love all the people that I have mentioned very much. This wouldn't be much of a fair fight without other people on my side. I am very fortunate to have the means and the opportunity to progress forward with my treatment like I have. Other people aren't so fortunate.

I just wanted to thank everyone who has helped and has yet to help. Words can't express how much it means to me. You're all terrific people!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

There was something amazing that happened today; something truly humbling and incredible. I'm going to have my Mom, Kathy, tell this story since I wasn't there when it happened:

I am so sure that Our Heavenly Father has a hand in Kevin's recovery even more so, because of an experience we had today. Tim and I were invited to a barbecue to celebrate the 100th birthday of a good friend and former co-worker's home as well as her husband's birthday. Carol Wasserman and her husband, Tony Witt are great people! Because they are sponsoring a concert of some Country Western artists at Loveland's Rialto Theatre tomorrow, they had some of the artists play at the party.

I heard Carol say that one of the artists, Brenn Hill, was from Utah, so I struck up a conversation with some things we might have in common. Soon we were talking about his little boy, Briggs, and the brain and spinal cord cancer he has battled since age 2 1/2 (He is now 4 and still fighting and getting better). I was able to see pictures of his beautiful family and Briggs's radiant and ear to ear smile just touched my heart! I told him about Kevin and he told me that many miracles have taken place in Briggs's battle with cancer despite some very negative opinions of medical experts and he said to make sure that we used the power of the priesthood whenever necessary with our son, too.

Later, Tim and I were sitting on the farmhouse porch eating and Brenn pulled up a chair and started eating and visiting, too. He kind of blurted out in a humble quiet voice, "I'm going to do a benefit concert for you!" Tim and I just sat there silently and in a bit of shock. What do you say when someone offers you such an amazing gift?

By the time we left the party, we had several people already beginning to formulate the details.

Stay tuned. This benefit will include several country artists, food, and more! We will give you all of the information we can when we have it. Thank-you, Brenn, Carol, Tony, and Mark! You are all angels sent from God to our family.

Friday, September 24, 2010

I had a wonderful web designer made me a web site to aid in awareness of Testicular Cancer and for anyone who wants to donate funds to help me with Doctor's fees and other medical costs. The web address is:

http://www.helpkevind.com/index.php

In fact, he will donate 100 dollars for every web site that he makes to my medical costs, unless it's a larger cost web site, then he'll donate more. This is very appreciated. So if you aren't able to help donate or anything, but you still want to help, you can refer anyone who needs a web site to my friend Nathan. His website is http://www.imakeyourwebsites.com/ he is able to provide many services. If you have questions send him an email at nathan@imakeyourwebsites.com he's been a huge support in all of my treatment.

And thank you to all of my friends and family who have been supporting me throughout this as well! New news will be coming on Wednesday the 29th and Thursday the 30th when I have appointments with Doctors.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I talked to a very close family friend last night who has survived cancer. When she went in for Chemo each shot cost 3000$ and every radiation treatment cost 850$. She informed me that it would be the Chemo that would make my hair fall out. The radiation would give me the equivalent of a really bad sunburn and Aloe would help. I hope that I don't have to do radiation treatments.

The Chemo will kill bad cells as well as good cells. So I will need to talk to the Oncologist about whether or not I should be banking any sperm. A family member said that Lance Armstrong did, but it's unclear whether or not the two children he had after his treatments were because of banking his sperm or because he was still fertile afterward. That will be a conversation saved for the Oncologist.

My Surgeon/Urologist referred me to 4 different Oncologists. When I called that Office (they're all based out of the same location) I found out that they do not do self-pay. So they referred me to a doctor that does. I called the office of Doctor Sorensen. His secretary said that they were pretty booked and that they would find a doctor to squeeze me in with, she'd call me back. She was very helpful. It was about a half an hour later that I got a call back from her. She said that they had an appointment for me on Thursday, September 30th at 10:40am with another doctor.

I have to say that I am a little bit apprehensive about meeting an Oncologist so long after my surgery. I have began to catch the urgency of cancer and that you need to take care of it quickly, but an appointment is an appointment.

21 september 2010

So today I went into surgery today. First I went into the pre-operation room. I got into the gown and got ready for surgery. I told the nurse that I didn't want to remember any of it. So before I went in they gave me a muscle relaxer that made me really dizzy. They wheeled me into the operating room and the Anesthesiologist started a drip. My wrist where the IV was got really cold and felt wet.

The next thing I remember was waking up -- very slowly -- in the post-operating room. My family and friends filtered throughout the following few hours. The doctor told my family that they found inflamed lymph nodes in my CT Scan. So I will have to go through Chemo therapy. My wife Rhiannon is going to call the Oncologist tomorrow to find out what the next few steps will be.

So Far...

Thursday, September 9^th 2010. I was having some pain in my groin so I went to my Primary Care Physician. He examined me and told me there was something irregular going on. He ordered an ultrasound for me.

Tuesday, September 14^th was when I went in and began the ultrasound examination. The monitors showed something strange on my right testicle. It looked like tight dark scribbles. I never wanted to believe that it could have been anything worse than an infection, because I felt perfectly healthy. The technician told me that they would get back to me between 3-5 days.

Wednesday, September 15^th I get a call in the morning from the Ultrasound Analyst saying that he found something abnormal in my ultrasound and I needed to schedule an appointment right away. Only seconds after that call ended I got a call from the Urologist's office-scheduling department. They wanted me to come in that afternoon, but I couldn’t so I set the time for the next day.

Thursday, September 16^th after filling out paperwork, they had me take a U.A. (Urine Analysis) then wait in a room with my wife. The doctor came in, had me drop my pants and he examined me. Only moments after – probably no more than a minute – he sat back down and said I could pull my pants back up. That was when he told me I had Testicular Cancer. He wanted to get me into surgery right away, only I don’t have medical insurance. I asked him if we could wait a month for me to get insurance and he vehemently shook his head “no.” He explained that this cancer was highly treatable (a 98% success rate), but that it spreads quickly, if not treated. The sooner we operate, the better. He set the surgery date for Tuesday, September 21^st at 1 o’clock.

It all happened so fast, but all I saw were dollar signs and debt. I had NO idea how I was going to afford this. I had a job but had only been working there for 2 weeks. It was a sales job, so you only get paid for presentations and sales. I hadn’t done any of those yet. The big day to put to practice what we learned was going to be Saturday. When the doctor said I couldn’t do any heavy lifting for a month I knew I would have to quit my job. So at that point he left. There we were sitting in his office waiting for his nurse to come in with consent forms, knowing we had no cell service. I started to get antsy. First, I wanted to sever the obligation to the company I was working for, since they invest 3,000 dollars in every trainee. Then I would tell family.

The nurse came back in and told us I would have to get a blood test before we left. We signed the consent forms and were on our way. It seemed surreal.

We got to the Lab and a really nice nurse took us back. We got to talking and explained our situation about how we tried to apply for insurance when we first got married a year ago but because I have a preexisting condition of ADHD and my wife had panic attacks less than 5 years ago, no insurance company would insure us, even though we were perfectly healthy. The nurse could sympathize. She has a 21 year old, special needs daughter who hasn’t had surgery for 16 years and no one will insure her. She was very helpful and told us about all the different programs. One of which was CICP (Colorado Indigent Care Program) that operates out of Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, the one where the operation would take place.

Friday, September 17^th at 10:15, I had an appointment for a CT or CAT Scan of my pelvis and chest. We went and did that and then headed down to the Financial Aid Department of the Hospital. After we proved we were Colorado residents they gave us a purple card. This meant that every procedure would be 15-20 dollars. All we would have to do is pay Doctor’s fees. This was a major relief for me. In fact we paid for the surgery right there: fifteen dollars!

After that we went in to go and do my Pre-Op consultation. I learned that the surgery would take an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes. I would have to have a responsible adult with me 24 hours after the surgery.

That night the In-Laws, siblings-in-law, my parents and one of my brothers went out to dinner. At dinner the suggestion was made that we go to a church meeting on Saturday where another cancer survivor was speaking.

Saturday, September 18^th we went to the church meeting and listened to the speakers. I found a lot of strength in the speakers. However, up until this point I had tried to stay very positive about my lot. The way this survivor spoke though, added a component of fear and doubt that I wasn’t comfortable with. I felt like the more people that knew about my condition (outside my circle of influence) the more fearful reactions I received.

I want to be positive and optimistic about what is to come. After the talk the cancer survivor gave, he came up to me. We shook hands and I thanked him for his words. He stuttered and stopped, showing pity for me, by saying, [he] can’t even begin to express how sorry [he] is for me. I didn’t like that.

As we were leaving in the car I told my wife that I tend to be influenced heavily by multiple opinions. So when a person who has survived cancer expresses fear, sorrow and pity for me, it tends to rub off. I want to stay positive, but I can’t do that when people talk to me like they have no hope for my predicament or their first reaction to me is deep remorse. It starts to affect me negatively little, by little. Maybe I am just too casual about things, because I surrender control to things that are out of my control. I don’t like to waste my time wishing I hadn’t been cast this lot, because it doesn’t do anybody any good. I don’t want to spend time daydreaming about what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten cancer.

I will need the strength to fight and sorrow sucks that strength right out of you. I had been having pain in my groin for about a month before I went into the Doctor. About 5 days before I went in to see the Doctor I committed to myself that I would do anything reasonably necessary to get rid of whatever it was that was causing me grief. When I found out I had cancer I was already at peace with any solution.

So no, I don’t feel sad that I have this. It has brought my family together. In a way, I feel like a tool for God, a catalyst for bringing a scattered family closer together. That may sound weird, but I believe it. I have no genetic predisposition to cancer. There is only one instance and a relative of mine had prostate cancer. I don’t think this was random.

I don’t regret getting it. I’m not afraid. The cancer survivor spoke about hope, yet showed fear when approaching me about having cancer. I don’t think cancer is something we should fear. We should definitely be educated and have a healthy respect for it, but we shouldn’t fear something we have to fight. We should embrace the inevitability of a fight, and if the fight doesn’t come, the victor goes to the hopeful.

Sunday, September 19^th a website is under-construction by Nathan Chaney of Illinois. The site will be where people can go to get the whole story about what’s happening, get information and donate what they can to help out with the Doctor’s fees that I’ll have to pay out of pocket. My mom pushed for the idea and thought I should go for it, so I asked a talented Web Designer out of the Saint Louis area to make it happen. He is gladly donating his time for the cause.